Fun Past Time - Correct Spelling & Punctuation In Pubs!

Out drinking in London with Andy and one bar proudly claims to have "Londons largest selection of malt whiskey".  Well, as two Englishmen who are proudly associated with Scotland, we have to verify this and it turns out they have a very large selection (but no Highland Park and about 20 under a strange 'caledonian classics' label or something).  But what I took more offence to, was the lack of apostrophe in "Londons" and furthermore the fact that they are talking about Irish "whiskey" rather than Scottish "whisky".  Thankfully their sign was only written in chalk so a wet finger managed to correct their mistakes!

I Am Not A Number, I Am A Free Man! (Fourth Time!)

I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! My life is my own!  (Prior to that, and quiet appropriate for a salesman) I will not make any deals with you. I've resigned.

Be seeing you!  [BTW this has all happened before, but never in the Twittersphere...]

Will I Miss Anything About Musselburgh?

Something big is happening (check the Twittersphere tomorrow morning) and some people already know.  So will I miss anything about working in Musselburgh?  Well, I'd have to say yes, especially around this time of year.  What an adorable gooselet!

Seriously, How Old Am I?

Old enough to know better, but not old enough to stop having fun! This a few hours after I get asked "Is your friend [Neil] over 25?" ... he's a year older than me!!

Mr Dresden, We Love You, Please Come Back!

Subject: In-appropriate Advertising
Sent: Sunday 5th June 2011
To: Executive Office of Orange

Dear Sir / Madam,

I wish to complain about the strategic change Orange has made in the last year that is affecting myself and many of the people I know. Until approximately one year ago one of the highlights of visiting the cinema was your Gold Spot adverts featuring Mr. Dresden and the Orange Film Board. As a Marketing Manager by trade I find it hard to recall another series of adverts that so perfectly hit the correct balance of humour and engagement with the audience in such a short period of time.

Sadly your decision to give in to the product placement demands that you have so successfully satirised over the years (mocked may even be a better word given your recent switch) I am loathed to find myself at the end of the trailers and having to sit through an over-running and mind-numbing hybrid of the worst of a trailer and a brand-damaging name-drop.

Volume in the auditorium goes up as people of all ages quickly realise "oh, this is a heavily endorsed advert for a film that is neither as good as an individual trailer or a simple advert for Orange themselves". Due to the film-placement deals signed, your costs may have fallen significantly but the effectiveness of these adverts have dramatically plummeted. You are no longer a "smart" company for savvy film go-ers (read savvy phone consumers), instead you are now only engaging children briefly whilst adults switch off (figuratively) until the BBFC classification comes appears.

Please, for your own business interests and for all cinema go-ers UK wide, re-instate your Orange Film Board / Funding Studios with Mr Dresden and monitor how quickly the "feel good factor" returns to the results of this advertising spend. Until last year you had the magical X-factor with regards films, smart adverts and smart deals. Now you are just cheap. If not for the sake of your own business, then for the sake of art - which is what your previous adverts genuinely were.

Yours faithfully,

Phill

[If you are missing him too, why not look at all bar the last two of this playlist]

I Am Completely Green With Envy!

This will probably have me in tears...! #greenwithenvy http://youtu.be/6CloKbXtD28 or

Malibu Drinkers Like Nice Nails..?

So if I buy two Cranberry Coolers I get s free nail varnish... I have had a professional manicure before (in Thailand) but that's because I didn't have my nail care tools with me. What makes then think that I, like any other Malibu drinker, wants a free mail varnish...?

What Month Is It? What City Am I In?

Sitting in so pub over lunch today preparing for my next meeting near Buckingham Palace and I overhear one guy talking about how much he is looking forward to going up to the Edinburgh Festival and about his escapades last year when he mixed up when he was supposed to arrive in the flat he rented in Morningside. Later in the evening the MC for the Recruiter Awards is confirmed to be Dara O'brien and I get a few minutes with him after the show, begging him to do a full month back in Edinburgh (he's recording a DVD in the Playhouse though) and talking about some other comics who are coming (like Dave Gorman!). Have I jumped forward 3 months? This behaviour is usually reserved for August..!

Half Of You Scots Should Be Ashamed, Especially You*

What a Cinco de Mayo it was yesterday! In Scotland we had the most important day in several years... Election Day. Sadly it seems that there was less than 50% turnout *despite* the fact that every vote counts in Scotland. Unlike last year's Westminster elections, where (not my) Darling won by a very healthy majority in my area, this year my vote actually 'counts' as we have full on Proportional Representation (way better than the half-arsed AV and by comparison it makes First Past The Post look nothing like democracy!). Yet despite this, and more powers being devolved to Holyrood in the next 12 months, people still didn't vote. Even someone who voted in all of the elevations in the last 8 years, in person, by post and once by proxy (!), didn't vote as they never updated their registered address. Disappointing... Still, they can't complain as they chose to mute their only voice that would have been heard.

* It's not hard to work out who I'm talking about!

Tesco Sell Single Use TVs for £400!

It seems Tesco are now viewing 40' TVs are impulse items, given this display one the first aisle of their giant Extra store. What better reason to buy a new TV than the fact that it's 'ideal for watching the royal wedding on'...?  Stop the world, I want to get off now...