I'm On Cloud Nine With Kopparberg's Cloudberry Cider!

Okay, maybe I just hyped it up for that headline (or Instagram post)... Truth is Cloudberry is a light, sweet and very fragrant cider that is exclusive to Belhaven Pubs (such as The Black Bull in Edinburgh). Kopparberg make decent ciders but compared to their countrymen at Rekorderlig they just miss a sharpness and clarity. But that said they are a lot better than Bulmers (Scottish & Newcastle brand, not the original Irish Magners).

My Soft Pink Dismembered Member Flops Out On My Bed

Nothing to see here, just that I can remove my soft pink thing (with bulb-shape thing underneath) and just leave it lying out on my hotel bed...

In case anyone is really wondering, it's my camera cover!  I call it William...  Or sometimes Richard...

Paying A Pretty Woman A Compliment Makes Me Gay?

Picture the scene, you bump into a girl you haven't seen in ages at a wedding and notice her dress. You pay her an observant compliment and in reply you are asked if you are gay!

Me: Wow, you look like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman!

Her: You're the only person to have noticed that! I love that film, that's why I bought the dress! Are you sure you're not gay?!

Top Marks For Top Shop's Sign To Nowhere

"Entrance this way" with no arrow on a walkway that has people going in both directions is not a helpful sign. Then again maybe it's for the best...

Taking Your Cherry Shouldn't Leave A Bad Taste In My Mouth

Does it get any better than this? All the best bits of Cherry Coke less the nasty sugary after taste plus the better taste of Pepsi! Plus you can still sing the Savage Garden line "like drinking Cherry Cola". Only downside is that I have only found Pepsi Max Cherry in 2 litre bottles so far. Cans please PepsiCo!

Proof Babies Are Nothing But Trouble (By Dragonfly)

Babies are notoriously trouble to such an extent that Dragonfly (111 Broughton Street, Edinburgh) decided to display this apt baby-grow (or whatever it's called). "Been inside for 9 months... " - pure gold!

Why Do Nearly Naked Men Crucify People Upside-Down?

I'm struggling to make sense of the world right now...  Walking along York Place I see a group of men walking along in the bus lane, nearly naked, carrying a large and heavy wooden structure.  Catching up with them as they turn left to get to Multrees Walk I can their "friend" on an inverted crucifix with his blonde hair flopping down.  Lifting over the bollards wasn't easy and it clear takes a lot of effort.  Can anyone tell me why they would be doing this?  It seems too intense for a stag party, plus everyone seemed relatively fit.  Perhaps an end-of-season team event due to a lost bet..?

Is This The Greatest Children's Playground Ever?

Not sure what the motivation here is on Lamma Island... They have done some work on their children's playground and right now it has extra ladders, metal bars, bundles of wires and ropes, plus the obligatory warning / danger signs. Why not just open the venue to the kids now? It's what every (male) child would put into the fantasy playground...! Safety rules gone mad...

HD TV On A Bus? Better Pictures Than Looking Out The Window

Yep, free WiFi on a bus is a great step forward but there had to be a next level. And it seems that is HD TV Channel on-board. What could be the motivation for this? See the route map as if it were outside your window? Or be sold to by adverts inside in great quality rather than those lofi versions up on billboards or in lame neon tubes...

Drinking Coffee Makes Coffee Mugs Depressed

Aww, poor thing! My coffee mug this morning seems depressed that I'm drinking coffee out of him... Or am I just misinterpreting (t)his enigmatic smil(i)e and is this in fact Art..? Answers on a melancholic postcard to the usual address...